Thursday, July 21, 2016

Misconception No. 3 - Bought and Paid For, Now You’re Mine

I’ve come across some postings on local review boards where some members become annoyed that escort can pick and choose who we see, and adjust our menus accordingly. I guess that their mentality is that since they are paying for a service, the escort  should provide that service without question, equally across the board and without variation. In a perfect world where all clients have impeccable hygiene and charming personalities this scenario just might work. But sad to say that we do not live in a perfect world and we must act in our personal best interest. Most escorts have their own check list of ‘make it or break it’ qualities that they expect from their clients. My top two priorities are; hygiene (really can’t stress this enough) and respect. I cannot provide a good service without these merits and consider it my right to cancel or reject a session if I deem necessary.

I’ve been in the awkward position where I’ve had to turn down client requests for an appointment. I don’t like offending people or making them feel rejected but at the same time I consider that I am doing them a favour by saving them money on something I know just will not work. When my clients leave I want them to feel as if we enjoyed one another’s company, and not feel like I did a decent job at tolerating them for the allotted time. This is not like renting a car, yes we provide a service for money but we are by no means a machine. We have feelings, we have preferences, and we have the right to choose who we provide our services to.

Thursday, June 30, 2016

Misconception No. 2 – This job is ALL about SEX, SEX, SEX!

Misconceptions (part 2 of 3 ) 

Surprise, surprise! My average call consists of 40% sex 60% companionship. Sure I get the occasional stud-muffin that wants ‘Porn Star, swing from the chandelier ’ action for the duration of the session but my typical and preferred client can be summed up as a down-to-earth, average Joe that just wants the good ol'fashion GFE experience. And I am more than happy to supply; snuggles, giggles, good conversation and fantastic sex...right up my alley!

As  courtesans we perform the role of ‘The Mistress’. Someone you can feel at ease with, confide in without fear of consequence, and share your fantasies and fetishes with openly. We do not nag, judge or ridicule. For that special time that we share together, we strive to be ‘the perfect woman’. Every connection is different depending on the chemistry of the courtesan and client, sometimes the connection feels genuine and other times can be a bit more difficult to develop. It is up to the provider to find a way to bond, whether it is a topic of common interest, or perhaps a relaxing massage. Sex is always better when there has been a foundation laid down. It can make the difference between a mediocre session and a mind blowing experience that you’ll remember forever.   

Being an escort is not all just about the sex. It’s about the personal connections and memories that are created, determining what each individual client needs to feel emotionally, mentally, and physically satisfied, and last but not least the...SEX, SEX, SEX!

For all you out there that say that all escorts are good for is sex, then save yourself the time and money and use your hand, because without a personal connection sex is just another orgasm.

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Thoughts on the Sex Trade and its Misconceptions ( Part 1of 3 )

Before I get started I just want to state for the record that these are only myindividual thoughts and opinions based on my own personal experiences. Not everyone will relate and/or agree with my point of view. But this is not meant to be a debate by any means; it’s simply a glimpse into how I see my world as an escort.

Misconception No. 1 – This industry is only for drug whores, the morally corrupt and sexual deviants!

I remember my first call. I was terrified, but also hungry enough to take the leap. Tough times call for desperate measures and I consider myself to be a survivor. My rent was due, my fridge was empty and I was scared and alone. I don’t regret this part of my life, not one bit. Because if I wasn’t pushed to the extreme then I wouldn’t have had the guts to explore what this industry has to offer. And I am glad that I did! Being an escort is one of the most refreshing, freeing and rewarding jobs that I have ever had. A dear friend once advised me to “find a job that you love and you will never work another day in your life”. Well guess what, I found that job. What sparked out of necessity due to the harsh economical times was continued by choice.

What is your perception of 'what it means to be an escort'? I am university educated, highly employable and come from a decent family. Am I the stereotypical example of an escort? Perhaps you envision a girl who is drug abusing, has experienced a rough childhood, possesses low self esteem or who is trajically misguided. It's human nature to judge, I myself am guilty of labelling. Before my life as an escort I ignorantly assumed the worst and that was why I was so reluctant to become a sex provider. That is until I got to experience it firsthand. In my experiences this career is not the dirty, dangerous, demeaning monster that I once thought it was. Don’t get me wrong, I am sure that there are some facets of the industry that are a nightmare, but I’ve been lucky enough to avoid the dark side thus far. I have a good head on my shoulders and make the necessary steps to keep myself out of harm’s way.

Society looks down on the sex trade as something to be embarrassed about, a dark and dirty secret that won’t go away. So why is it the oldest profession in history? It’s because there is an undeniable demand for it thanks to our strongly engrained instincts as a species towards sexual activity and companionship. Thank you evolution! People need and crave companionship, why is that so horrible? After all isn’t it only natural? If society accepted the sex trade making it a legal profession we could eliminate some of the negative aspects of the industry; keeping girls safe by encouraging brothels and safe havens to conduct business, enforcing mandatory STD testing, and collecting taxes & licensing fees. The sex industry is flourishing, might as well embrace it because it will continue to exist and thrive as it has always done.


What Makes A Good Client Part 2

…respects an escort’s time.

A good client is respectful of an escort’s time. He doesn’t waste her time with endless e-mails/phone calls before meeting (unless she openly encourages the correspondence). He doesn’t waste her time with numerous cancellations and rescheduling. He doesn’t break an appointment without calling first. He is on time for appointments; not early, not late. Nor does he try to extend his allotted time with her (he can ask, but she may have other plans). If she doesn’t like last-minute appointments, or appointments on certain days/times, he doesn’t make those requests.
In short, a good client treats an escort’s time as valuable to her; much as his time is probably valuable to him.

…is discreet.
A good client is discreet. Many escorts don’t like explicit reviews or don’t allow any reviews. A good client will respect her wishes about reviews and behave accordingly.
Discretion also extends to any time they spend together in public. No lady wants attention drawn to her while she’s with a client. Likewise, she doesn’t like spending time with an overly-prying client. Although a good client is genuinely interested in his companion, he understands the line between personal interest and being intrusive.

…understands the mystery of chemistry.

A good client recognizes that this is a very personal business. Sometimes people have chemistry, and sometimes they don’t. Not everyone will always get along with everyone else. Sometimes the client grates on the escort’s nerves. Sometimes she can’t find his wavelength. Good clients understand that professional escorts make every effort to make him happy. And if they don’t click; it wasn’t meant to be.
Although they probably will not see this particular lady again, good clients capable of recognizing these concepts. Such mismatches are not reflections on either party. (I’m simply talking about a lack of magic happening, not instances where either party was harmed in some way.)

…is good company.

A good client is nearly always a positive person. Misery may love company, but company does not really like hanging around misery. Some men visit escorts precisely because they need cheering up. But a constantly depressed client who never seems to enjoy the attention they receive from their companions will never be a favored client. They may be harmless in every other way, but a miserable person is a miserable person. Escorts enjoy feeling like they’ve made a difference, even if for a small amount of time. An always-gloomy client ends up depressing his companion as well.
Clients who are extremely sexist, racist or whose personal beliefs make a lady uncomfortable probably won’t be considered good clients. Of course, this is a personality mismatch and every lady has different levels of tolerance.

…doesn’t need to make bribes.

Good clients are not necessarily the ones who tip or bring gifts. Often they are. But sometimes tippers or gift-bearers do this because they know they’re difficult to deal with and are trying to smooth the way. For most escorts, a man is a good client because of the quality of his company and not the quality of his material gifts.

…sees the lady more than once.

Nearly all good clients become good clients by seeing an lady fairly often. Building a relationship takes time and once is usually not enough to produce more than a fond memory.
Of course, a first visit that lasts several hours or days goes a much longer way to establishing the relationship than one or two hours.
The Final Factor
What makes a good client often has a lot to do with what the lady wants out of a client. Although the factors I list seem to be pretty universal, the final factor of what makes a good client is the lady in question.
One man could see two different escorts and behave in a completely polite and respectful manner with both; yet one lady will like him more than the other escort. It comes down to personality. After all, this is a people business.
Attracting Good Clients
So what do you do if you want to attract good clients? Naturally, my first recommendation is to read my books! I feel the philosophy I put forth in my books works.
Consistently attracting good clients requires a well-thought-out plan and some introspection on the part of the girl. I’ve seen too many escorts approach this business in a scattershot way and then get unpleasantly surprised when they fail to attract the quality of men they hoped for.
A man who is considerate, respectful and also has the discretionary income to afford escorts is not likely to be attracted to an lady who doesn’t project an image of quality. Good clients approach paid companionship more like dating than like shopping, which means they consider far more than just physical appearance.
What’s Next?
Most of what I say here can apply to escorts as well. The logical follow-up post to this one is “What makes a good escort?” Look for it very soon!


Friday, May 27, 2016

Private and public at the same time.

The goal of this post is to explain why I have the blog as a unique medium that allows for expression not possible anywhere else for me. Courtesan blogs are an extreme, but excellent, representation of this medium's potential as they take full advantage of its possibilities and you get to know me a little better.
A blog is an online journal. Some blogs are thematic; others have a diary like structure. Anonymous blogs are written under a pseudonym. Anonymity affects the quality of the blog because the blogger feels freer to speak her mind. My blog is a great example of anonymity at work because my content is often controversial, and it exist only because the blog technology makes it possible.My blog is written purely for personal pleasure and never reveal my identity. 
The difference between a high-priced prostitute and a courtesan is that prostitutes sell "by the minute" sex, whereas courtesans provide companionship of which sex is only a part. They spend extended amounts of time with their clients, including accompanying them on vacation and to social events such as work functions and conventions, and have to be presentable and comfortable in different social situations. This is how I explain the process of selection for the job: "This is what separates escorts from courtesans. Girls in this side of the business tend to be graduates of elite schools, athletes or dancers and schooled in the arts. Bonus points for being the graduate of a finishing school or having been introduced to society. Pretty much all of the exclusive companions that I know of are a close fit to this profile." How telling is the fact that the qualities most prized by the bourgeoisie and upper classes for instilling in their daughters are the same ones they expect to see in their prostitutes. 

My blog best approximate what is historically known as a courtesan experience, that of being in the company of a charming, engaging, and seductive personality. Courtesan blogs are written by interesting, talented women. The sexual nature of the profession, and perhaps, my extroverted sexuality, does lend a frisson to their writing. Sex sells. For me, sex is both the source of their income and a major contributor to the popularity of my blog. I try to cover a wide variety of topics: sex, family life, friends, past experiences, travels, the books I read, and the food I eat. My writing is  astute, interesting social commentary, perhaps because I experience more varied social situations than most. I engage in a number of activities other than this but I would LOVE to write on a weekly basis.
 My blog presents a curious inversion of the ideas of public and private sphere. No Sense of Place, where I explore public and private roles and the fragmentation of self that occurs in response to changes in social environments. An anonymous blog is a paradox--a private diary fully exposed to a world of strangers. Anonymity protects me from the repercussions of my revelations--I can reveal my secrets, but they remain such, as long as they are not linked to my real life identity. Anonymously, it is possible to be anyone on the Internet, even one's real self. 
Courtesan bloggers are more real in the digital realm than in the physical one. Their public and private roles are reversed: the most formal, public role most of us lead is at work. For a courtesan, work takes place in private; her job is not where she can connect socially. …

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Cosmo’s Horrible Sex Tips for Women

My friend just sent me this link, and it had me cracking up. I hadn’t thought about Cosmopolitanmagazine in a LONG time, and I had forgotten how downright ludicrous (or should I say lewd-icrous? har de har har) their sex tips are. And that makes up like half of every issue of the magazine!!!

I remember being about fourteen years old and picking up a Cosmo at my older cousin’s house. It was full of sex tips (something along the lines of “100 Tricks to Make Your Man Melt!”). I was a virgin, and not only did I not know a damn thing about what men really like, but I didn’t even realize that (SURPRISE!) men are individuals, and therefore not all men like the same thing. (From the looks of it, the writers at Cosmohaven’t figured this out yet.)
But even though I was pretty clueless, I was nonetheless skeptical–was it REALLY a great idea to suddenly jam a finger up into your man’s rectum without any warning? Did my (hypothetical, future) man really want me to scrape my teeth up and down the shaft of his penis while I (hypothetically, in the far-flung future) blew him? And was a can of whipped cream and a squeeze bottle of Hershey’s Syrup really that sexy, or was it just a sticky cliche?
I’ve since had more than enough time to realize that Cosmo is, of course, a trashy rag full of fluff and ridiculousness. It’s a guilty pleasure not to be taken seriously. And I suspect the writers and editors of the magazine know that the reason women read this stuff is not because we actually intend to try these…er…techniques (some of which, I’m betting, are physically impossible), but because we enjoy the silly trash for what it is. And so, my new theory is that the good folks at Cosmo are just making this stuff up to amuse themselves and their readers. And as the years go by, they’re challenging themselves to push the envelope, to come up with something even more outlandish than, say, tickling your man’s nether-regions with an oversized periwinkle feather while the two of you hang from twin flying trapezes. It’s like an inside joke between women–the writers and the readers. A women’s magazine version of The Aristocrats, if you will. We know you’re just trying to shock us, but we’re nonetheless impressed that you had the balls guts to put it in print.
Or at least, I hope so.
I mean, no one really takes this stuff seriously, right?

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Expensive vs High-End coined the phrase High-Dollar Hottie (HDH) for their public forum for high-end escorts and their clients. Although a lot of people refer to upscale escorts as HDH, is there a difference between expensive or high-end? And, if there is, what is the difference? How does an escort become an HDH?

The difference between expensive and high-end is: the $1,000 omlet at Le Parker Meridien in New York City is expensive. A meal at Alain Ducasse in NYC is high-end. A Nevada brothel worker charging $1500/hr is expensive. An independent escort charging $2000 for three or four hours is considered high-end. 
In the online escort world, the differences fall along these lines:
AppearanceVery attractive, often blonde; fashion-model or porn-star type (fashion-model type is very slim, porn-star type often has large breast implants)Attractive; has a more low-key, natural-looking, fresh-faced appeal; not always surgically altered
Education Rarely states academic credits, assumed not to have themAlmost always college-educated
Attracts Clients Because…she’s the ultimate male fantasy individual men like the individual woman presented
What She “Offers”Uninhibited sexuality and amazing arm candy; usually does not emphasize conversational skills or intellectual interestsExclusivity; a less one-dimensional focus on his orgasms; wants to create a genuine connection with each client (and perhaps has a more sophisticated sexuality); emphasizes intellect and conversational abilities
Appointment Minimums1-2 hours, usually offers longer packages as well 2 hours, often 3-4+ hours, plus plenty of extended-visit or travel options
ReviewsActively encourages reviews Rarely allows reviews
Personal Life Does not emphasize the personal Often has a day job and pursues many other interests; happily discusses the other ways she spends her time

Can Any Escort Become Expensive?

Any independent escort can raise her rates to whatever level she wishes. That’s the beauty of it. But that’s not really the point of the question, is it? 
Becoming a successful expensive escort is fairly easy. An escort has to be very physically attractive. She must be able to sexually wow any client she has and have the menu of sexual activities reviewers prefer. And she has to allow, or even encourage, reviews; especially on national review boards like TER. As she becomes more popular, she can raise her rates until she reaches a balance between income, appointment volume and reputation.
I’ve seen a number of escorts do this in their local area. They don’t become expensive, per se, but they build their reputation through reviews to the point where they can charge the top rates their local discussion boards will support. They usually also participate heavily on their local boards and/or attend get-togethers in the local community. This can work very well for an escort who is older or less physically attractive (attractive in the mainstream, typical-male-fantasy sense).

Porn Stars as Expensive Escorts

It’s simple for a real porn star to charge high rates. She only has to list her movie credits. Other things that could help: an ultra-professional Web site, appearances at a Nevada brothel, nation-wide touring or representation by the few escort agencies who specialize in porn stars. She also needs to promote herself as a porn star, make new movies, be interviewed by magazines and radio stations, have new photo shoots and generally do what porn stars do to make a career. (She’s a porn star, so none of this is out of the question.)
I’ve seen self-identified porn stars who list one or two movies (made by low-end, little-known companies with poor distribution) as credits and have amateur photos on their ads. They rarely have decent Web sites – if they have one at all. Although I’m sure they make some money, they probably aren’t as successful as porn stars who work hard to promote themselves and build an actual porn career. 

Brothel Workers as HDHs

And there’s the Nevada brothel option. The top providers in the better-known brothels charge thousands for a “party” (a party is sex with a client – defined however the provider and client agree it’s defined). I knew an independent escort who switched to working in a Nevada brothel. It suited her personality perfectly and within a few months she was charging $3000/hr. And her rates only went up. She had the sexual skills and physical appearance of an expensive escort and she was very good at her job. (She was also good at negotiating — an art that must be learned to successfully work in a Nevada brothel.) Would she have wanted to be high-end instead? No. It didn’t suit her personality nor play to her strengths. You can conclude why... 

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